Some choices are just hard to make

“You’re not adventurous.” “You’re too picky!” “Why does it take such a long time for you to make up your mind?”

I have heard those statements too many times that they do nothing to me when I hear them. They’ve become ‘one of those things’. However some things happened over the weekend and yesterday that really made me stop and think to myself, “Why is it always so difficult for you to make a choice?”

I’m picky. I stick with what I know. It takes a lot of convincing for me to try something new. I’m sure some of you are wondering how this can be the case when I’m always saying people should try new things but it’s the truth. That means I don’t practice what I preach right?

Well not totally; I try new things like learning a new skill or going somewhere new but when it comes to the simple things of life, somehow, I have a way of making them not so simple. Let me give you some examples.

So last Friday, I went to the mall to hangout and I stopped at Coldstone to get some ice-cream because I had been craving it for a while. As I stood in front of the display window, I remembered an incident that happened earlier in the year and I decided not to go for my usual choice of vanilla and chocolate. Someone took me out and we went to Coldstone as I also had a craving for their ice-cream at that time too. I had talked about it so much and I was actually looking forward to having Coldstone ice-cream. And then we got there and they had no vanilla or chocolate flavours. What a disaster! You would think I would have ordered something else but I didn’t. The uncertainty that surrounded choosing a new flavour which I may possibly not like giving that I am quite picky was too much for me to bear. So I simply said I didn’t want ice-cream again. The person who took me out turned to me in shock and said “But Doyin, there are 8 other flavours you could choose from.” He didn’t get it and I was not willing to explain but I know he thought something was wrong with me.

Back to last Friday – I was willing to take a risk and order something new. I looked at the names of the other flavours, searching for some form of familiarity. The only one which was familiar was ‘Baileys Cream’. After almost 2 minutes, I asked the lady who was serving the ice-cream to suggest a nice flavour. She said “Aunty try Amaretto.” I squeezed my face. “What is that?” She must have picked up on what I was thinking because she immediately suggested that I should taste it. I did. It was awful. It tasted funny. She suggested something else. By this time, I had already spent more than 10 minutes with this lady (they didn’t have plenty customers that day). I was tired and I wasn’t willing to taste another awful flavour so I told her to just give me my vanilla and ice-cream. She laughed. I still cannot believe I spent close 15 minutes deciding on what flavour of ice-cream to get. It’s actually worse when I go to unfamiliar restaurants. I study their menus like I’m studying a book! Sigh.

I cannot really say why it takes me so long to make a choice or why I am so picky but I must say that I am grateful to people who have been so patient while I take all the time in the world to make a choice. As you can imagine, they are few! I went to a weave shop yesterday and I spent almost 20 minutes trying to decide what particular weave I should buy. I had a particular brand in mind but the salesgirl now said “Which one of them? Bohemian or straight?” That was where the problem started. “What does Bohemian look like? Let me see the straight one?” We debated about a particular weave for almost five minutes. She tried to convince me that it would look good on me. I wasn’t convinced. I couldn’t picture it in my mind. But I ended up buying something I was comfortable with. All that drama over hair.

After reading Tim Lahaye’s book, I know it’s a temperament thing but I would really like it to reduce. I don’t want to go to the salon and spend 30 minutes deciding what hairstyle to do. I do not want to go to a make up studio and spend eternity trying to decide on the shade of lipstick to buy. I would like the process to be shorter and fun because it is actually very stressful for me.

Any suggestions?



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