A special place in God’s heart

I woke up this morning feeling quite excited. I had an amazing weekend; stressful but amazing. The event in Ibadan went well! I cannot even find the words to describe how awesome the event was.

In my last post about the event, I wrote about how I was nervous about speaking at the event and how God helped me to deal with that fear. Well, the day before the event I had a grand plan of preparing a detailed speech. I just had an outline in my head. The day did not go as planned. I didn’t get to work on my speech until 9 pm! I couldn’t really do much because I was tired and I also had to get up quite early the next morning.

So I decided to practice what I  had already written down in front of the mirror. I read this in one public speaking book I downloaded. Yes, I had to get a book about public speaking. I talked and talked and I was feeling happy with myself. When I was done, I took my phone to see how long I talked for (I recorded it) and I was shocked to discover I had only spoken for 15 minutes. “Ah! With all the big grammar, just 15 minutes?” I felt a bit nervous. I was meant to do a 45 minute speech and 15 minutes was all I had.

“Calm down Doyin”, I told myself. When I calmed down, I opened my laptop and decided to flesh out some of the points I had written down. I had to be careful though, I didn’t want to go off point. Somehow, a structure came to my mind and I added a few more points. Tiredness didn’t allow me to go further so I closed my laptop and prepared for bed. Before I slept, I had a discussion with God. I said, “Lord, you have to take control tomorrow. Speak through me. I want the people who come to listen to me to leave with something. I want them to be impacted. I’m not sure exactly what I am going to say but I know the Holy Spirit will speak through my mouth.”

I meant that prayer. Beyond the words I had written down, I just wanted God to speak through me. Anyway I got to Ibadan the next day on time and as I got to the venue, I was quite relaxed funny enough. I thought I would panic but I didn’t. I found a place to hide with the media people and my plan was to go from there to the stage when it was my turn to speak. Alas, the organisers of the event had different plans. I was taken right to the front where the Pastors usually seat. “Blood of Jesus”, I screamed in my mind.

As I walked towards the seat, I just kept talking to God, telling Him that He needs to take control. There was a praise and worship session before the lectures began and that for me was the turning point of this story. I felt a certain kind of ease come over me as I worshipped. I knew I was going to be fine. I knew it was going to end well. So when I was called up to the stage, my heart didn’t beat faster neither did I start sweating profusely.

Honestly, I don’t really know why I have always been afraid of speaking in front of people. On Saturday, I felt like I was in my zone. I spoke from my heart, referring to my notes just a few times. I had fun and I truly enjoyed what I was doing. I ended the talk after speaking for 30 minutes and I felt great. What made me feel even better were the comments I received about how my talked impacted lives and changed mindsets. That was the icing on the cake for me. It’s amazing the things that can happen when you yield to God and follow His will.

I may not be perfect but I am a woman who is basking under the grace of God. I know without a doubt that I have a special place in His heart. Keep doing what God wants you to do. You will definitely succeed.

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