#LoveWalk: Infusing the atmosphere of love at home

I have a confession to make. This checking up on people and being there for them is quite expensive. The amount I have spent on recharge card is alarming! But you know what? I love it. It’s gradually becoming a part of me. I promised a friend on Sunday that I would call her by 9pm yesterday. Now when 9pm came, I just was not in the mood to talk to anybody. I had plans of sending her a message today apologising for not calling. But something within wouldn’t let me rest. I eventually made the call and I am glad that I did. I was blessed by our little conversation.

Although I am happy that I am loving others better, I am not happy with the fact that I am not showing this love to my family members. I guess it’s easy to ignore our loved ones because we take it for granted that they will always be there. After all, we see them everyday right? For me it’s actually different. I just don’t know how to relate with them on that level. Like I have mentioned in previous posts, my family is not one that shows ‘love’. It’s a non-existent concept. Back in the day we used to bond while watching sitcoms. After the banter, everyone dispersed and went into their own zone. Things got worse as individuals acquired gadgets that allowed them to get their entertainment in the comfort of their rooms and you can guess who chose to stay in her room instead of bonding with the family in the living room.

So it’s difficult to relate with my family members on that level, especially my mum. We have been home alone in the same house for almost three weeks and I count the number of words we have said to each other. Aside from the mandatory greetings and giving feedback of an errand, I usually don’t know what to say. The atmosphere in my house is quite awkward right now. The silence is glaring. Usually this wouldn’t have been a problem for me, but at this point in my life, it is a big problem. I should be able to have a decent 20 minutes conversation with my mum…shouldn’t I?

I shared my this with some of my colleagues and they suggested that I should leave my room for an hour and sit with her in the living room as she watched football (which I absolutely hate by the way). It sounded like a good idea. Love involves sacrifice. At 8pm, after she had settled into the living room, I went out to meet her. The conversation went like this:

Me: Good evening mummy

Mum: Ehen.

Me: How was work?

Mum: Fine

*Minutes of awkward silence*

Mum: Dedoyin do Apple products take good pictures?

Me: Yes they do

Mum: Hmm….how do you know? Do you have an Apple product?

Me: *Trying hard to supress my natural sarcastic inclination* Umm…my iPod is an Apple product.

Mum: Oh ok.

*More silence*

Me: Which team is playing?

Mum: Chelsea (I’m not sure that is what she said but that is what I think I heard).

Me: Oh ok. So is this the Premier League?

Mum: No oh…La liga

Me: Ok ok.

*Even more silence* 

At this point, I just stared at the TV watching these people kick the ball from one end of the pitch to the next. It was literarily doing my head in so I decided to go to the kitchen. She was cooking rice for herself and I helped her to complete the cooking. When the rice was ready, I dished her food, took it to her and went straight to my room. I just couldn’t deal.

I know, I know…I have to try harder but it’s very weird for me. One suggestion I received that I am really considering is taking her to the cinema or taking her out for lunch. Even though I have some doubts, I am willing to make the effort. The effort has to count for something right? I really do envy people who can tell their mum anything. How do you do it? What do you do to make the conversation flow? I need suggestions and talking points maybe. What do you do to bond with your parents? How can I create this atmosphere of love in my family considering our history? Do help a sister out…and pray for me too!


4 Replies to “#LoveWalk: Infusing the atmosphere of love at home”

  1. Thanks for sharing. I want to congratulate you on your first step at bonding. Rome was not built in a day,so,it will get better with time. Your interest in her football will serve for ‘Recreational Companionship’ with your future hubby. Men NEED that.
    As a writer,texting affirming words to her occasionally will be for you something that is not a chore.
    What else is a favorite TV program you can watch with her aside football,and what other hobby of hers do you think that you can participate in?
    Her question about Apple products indicates her interest in knowing how better to use a smart phone. The oldies don’t want to feel left out of the world of the millenials. How about helping her out patiently day in and out,week in and out.
    I hope you get some help from this looking back in a couple of months.

    1. Wow…sir I really feel honoured that you took some time out to leave a comment on my blog. I never thought about sending her affirming words via text. I’ll start doing that. It won’t be difficult for me to do. I’ll look into her other hobbies. We both love fashion and taking pictures. I guess I can do something with that too. Thank you for the practical tips sir!

  2. hey sis, I think you should spend time to understand mum’s love language but while you are at that, you can lavishly give out honest compliments from time to time. I must confess you really have to exercise patience and a lot of sacrifice is involved.
    Sending you cyber hugs but Lady, you can do it

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