I wrote a song yesterday and it was straight from my heart. I’ve had inspiration to write songs for a while now but getting myself together to actually put down the songs in words have been quite a struggle. I think I have only put down three songs and only one is a complete song (I’m sorry Lord!) Anyway, yesterday the song just flowed. The lyrics, notes…everything was just in place.
Want to know what the song is about? It was about God’s love towards me. I started from the very beginning. How God saved me from a bitter heart and shielded me with His love. Like I said it was from my heart. As I was singing, I thought about those moments when I wanted to give up on myself. I thought about my first year in uni when I was depressed because everyone around me seemed to be ‘in love’ and I didn’t have anyone to love me. I actually thought something was wrong with me. I was depressed for days but God stayed with me through it all even if I didn’t acknowledge His presence.
My mind went to the moment when I fell deeply into sin, not because I didn’t know that what I was doing was bad but because I had just lost all sense of morality. I didn’t realise how much I was hurting God. It was harmless fun to me. I remembered the guilt after all was said and done. I was so ashamed of myself. Have you ever sinned and you just felt worthless, undeserving of God’s wonderful love? That’s exactly the way I felt. I stopped going to church. How could I? I was in the choir at the time. How could I go on the stage and minister to others when I was so deep in sin? It would have been hypocrisy…plain and simple. But you know what? God covered me with His love. Before I forgave myself, God had forgiven me. He was just waiting for me to accept His forgiveness and run back to Him. I was too blind to notice that God did not condemn me…He jut condemned my sin. He still loved me nonetheless. After a year of struggling with myself, I finally let go of the shame that I felt and chose to embrace God’s love instead. I forgave myself and my relationship with God was restored.
Nobody has it all together and nobody can ever have it all together. We will fall short at one point or the other. We will make mistakes, intentionally or unintentionally but do you know what will always remain? God’s love. God loves you yesterday, today and forever more. He loved you while you were a sinner and He loves you even more as His child. Even when you fall into sin, God will love you. Yes He will hate your sin but He loves you. The devil tries to keep us away from God’s love by filling our hearts with heavy guilt. He shames us into believing that we are unworthy of God’s love when all God wants is for us to repent and come back into His loving arms.
So if you are out there and you have strayed from God, it is time to find your way back. Ask Him to forgive you and accept His forgiveness. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Don’t condemn yourself when God has not condemned you. God takes no joy in seeing a sinner perish. His joy comes when a sinner repents. Don’t run away from God because you feel He will never forgive you for the sin you committed. I don’t want to know how bad the sin is. God will forgive you if you can simply repent. Accept His forgiveness and love. He is waiting for you.