Before I go into today’s post, I will like to say a very big thank you to everyone who gave me their comments and observations regarding my last post about broken people. It’s good to know that there are people who are on this journey with me. As you’ve taken the first step, things can only get better from here…plus you have this blog as a source of encouragement 🙂
One common theme that I noticed in most of the comments I received is that people actually do have a hard time being vulnerable. I spoke about putting your guards down and letting people in as we begin this love walk. I know it’s easier said than done. As one person put it, “I have been hurt too many times. I need to protect my heart.” I agree. When we are hurt, our natural instinct is to protect ourselves but shutting everyone out is taking it to the extreme.
And can I tell you something?
If you shut everyone out, you are also shutting out potentially good relationships. How will you enjoy such relationships if you don’t give them a chance to bloom in the first place? Then there is the issue of walking in true agape love. Believe it or not, if your heart is guarded, you cannot truly love the person next to you. You will view all their actions with suspicion. And that person will also become a potential threat as they may hurt you in the future.
So you see, this whole building a fortress round your heart is a tricky business. I had to sit down and ask myself, how can someone begin to demolish the walls around their heart? I still have walls around my heart but they are not as thick as in previous years. For those of you who are still carrying a fortress here are some things that I feel will help you break down those walls. Remember, this is not something you will do today and forget tomorrow. It’s something you must do everyday. In fact, I believe it is a life time commitment.
Here is goes – Doyin’s five tips for breaking down walls around the heart.
- Accept the love of God. God’s love is indescribable. You need to have a personal revelation of it for it to have an effect in your life. Take your Bible and start with Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Look at all the things Jesus did out of love. Then go to the epistles. By the time you are through, you will discover that God’s love will begin to melt your heart.
- Confess it. Everything we do in our walk with God is by faith. Confess that you are a loving person. Confess that every wall around your heart comes down. You may not believe it the first time you confess it, but the more you say it, the more it will sink into your spirit. Trust me, it works.
- Have a one on one conversation with God. I’m not talking about your routine ‘In Jesus Name’ prayer. Take time out in your room and just pour out your heart to God like He is there infront of you. If you are like me and you prefer to write, pour out your heart in a love letter to God. You may not feel it but as you pour out your heart, you are letting go of every past burden and your healing has begun.
- Look for small ways to show love. Now this is where you will have to work a little bit. I’m not asking you to do anything drastic but do something you will not normally do. For me, I decided to start saying “I love you” to people. It felt really awkward the first few times I said it but the more I said that, the more I got used to it. Now I don’t find it difficult to tell people that I love them although I only say it selectively (that’s something else I need to work on). So for you, it may mean doing domething out of love for your parents or siblings. I will share how I took practical steps to change the ‘love’ relationship with my mother later on in the series.
- Love yourself. To be honest this deserves a post of its own. Maybe it’ll be a post for tomorrow. The truth really is that all the points above will not work if you don’t love yourself. If after reading God’s word, you still cannot picture yourself worthy of His love then there is a problem. Some people have been so badly hurt that their self-esteem has been totally bruised. You cannot start a love walk in this state. You need to see yourself the way God sees you. When you love yourself, you can let that love flow to others.
These are not the only ways to break down walls around a hardened heart. They are just the things I did to free my heart from the prison it was in. If you have other tips to share, please write them in the comment section. You might just save someone from a life of bitterness and resentment.