I hate noisy places. I hate people who are loud and obnoxious. Ok hate is a strong word but I strongly dislike these things. Since my childhood days, I have always loved being indoors. I only went out because ‘home’ was choking for me as a result of excess parental drama. Deep down however, all I wanted to do was just curl under my duvet and read or listen to music. Welcome the social recluse.
People often have a hard time deciding whether I am anti-social or reserved. A friend of mine put me in an interesting category; he said that he thinks I am selectively-social. That’s a nice way to put it. I can be social when I want to but social settings to a very large extent are very stressful for me. That’s why I don’t like going to weddings. I never enjoyed clubbing for the same reason. Loud noise, random people saying rubbish to you, the need to make conversation and force a smile…it’s making my head hurt to think about it. I wonder how I became like this. You know this introvert/ extrovert classification…is it something that is innate or learnt?
It’s amazing how comfortable I am in my own shell. Bring me out of that shell and it’s like all hell wants to break loose. I stayed home throughout yesterday, writing, watching movies and doing other things and I was really happy. When my phone rang or people wanted to chat, I just wasn’t interested. I was enjoying my own company too much. Imagine my surprise when I told someone how I spent the day and he replied by saying it was such a boring way to spend one’s day. Actually I wasn’t surprised. Something similar happened in January when someone asked me how I spent my Christmas holiday. I’m sure you can guess what I said; “I stayed home, watched TV, read some books and rested”. It’s actually funny when I think about it now. I can never forget the shock on the person’s face. I was so excited when I answered the question! The person must have been wondering what kind of weirdo I am.
I’ve been called all sort of names because of my peculiar habits. Sometimes, to let peace reign I come out of my shell and become actively social. Unfortunately, I end up suffering for it. I can be social once in a while but not every time. Sometimes my phone rings and I am not just interested in picking the call. No the person calling did not offend me; I just don’t want to talk. I read chats or text messages and I don’t want to reply. Nothing happened; I just don’t want to indulge in a conversation. Can people respect that? I’m tired of having to explain myself over and over again and I am definitely tired of apologising for being me. I know there are times that I have to break out of my shell. In fact some people will read this post and say “Which Doyin, she’s very social joh”. That’s because I have gone out of my way to be overly social with these people. I put on my game face and become the life of the party. Because they don’t know me, they don’t know this is just an act (sorry if you fall in this category).
Introverts are not bad people. If you get to understand them, you will find that they are actually very wonderful to be around. Just understand their times and seasons. When you force an introvert to be social when they are not up for it, you are taking away a part of them and to be honest it can actually be counter-productive. They get into that social setting and their silence is unbelievable. It’s as if the people around them do not exist (I’ve been there done that). Let’s appreciate our different personalities and help each other when needed. Don’t stereotype me because I’m an introvert; get me then adapt (*big smile*).
My name is Adedoyin and I don’t like noise.