A series of events that happened to me this week caused me to think about why people change in times of adversity. This life is full of ups and downs. It’s inevitable. What I am yet to come to terms with is the way adversity causes people to change negatively.
We all know that through adversity, the strength of our character can be revealed. We can become tough and end up being better people by the time that terrible phase is over. That is not the kind of change I am talking about. I am talking about the kind of change that make you completely shut out those you say you love and become this mysterious being. I’m talking about the kind of change that makes a once lovely person to become a horrible monster that even the devil will be afraid. What makes people change that way?
As a child, my dad was my best friend. I had an open relationship with him and I could tell him everything. Well, not everything but you get my point. When I went off to uni, there was no day that my dad didn’t call and I didn’t feel like he was bothering me. In fact, I looked forward to his calls. To my friends I was daddy’s pet but I didn’t mind them calling me that. What I had with my dad was worth more to me than they could ever imagine. Then disaster struck and my dad just became a different person. Daily calls moved from being weekly to once in three months. Even when we did talk, there was this distance. I could no longer connect with my dad. This however didn’t stop me from trying to reach out to him. I even made sure my brother made the effort to call him regularly so that he knows that his children support him.
I’ve done this for almost four years and frankly, I think I’m getting to the point where I want to give up. This is not the first time that I’ve wanted to give up but every time I have come to that point, God always stops me. After all, no one else can take the place of my dad. My dad has not become a horrible monster. No. He has just withdrawn so far into a place that it looks like I may not be able to reach him. Our conversations are now a chore. This week, I just felt numb. I didn’t know what to say.
The thing is I can’t give up and that’s the point I want to pass across. We can’t give up on the people that we love. Adversity has different effects on the people we care about but we still have to love them nonetheless; even though it may be very difficult. The same adversity made me become stronger and closer to God; it had a different effect on my brother and other members of my family, especially my dad. I refuse to give up still. It’s not the easiest thing to do but I will still try.
So if there is anyone you are about to give up on; it may be your brother, your mum or even your husband, reach out to them again. If you haven’t spoken to them in ages, pick up your phone and call them. It doesn’t matter if they are cold to you. Just reach out. I believe deep in their heart, even if they don’t say it, they appreciate the fact that you are still there for them. Remember, walking in love like God wants us to is never an easy thing to do but it will always yield positive fruits.
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